How to get rid of Telemarketers

22 07 2008

(picture via Toni’s Corner of the World)

I found this set of very useful “Anti-Telemarketer Script” from Junkbusters and have modified it slightly to suit Singapore’s context. I do not think there’s a similar Telephone Consumer Protection Act in Singapore’s Constitution to protect us from such spams. Although we can’t sue the telemarketers, we can still scare them off with a series of questions, build to intimidate.

Next time you meet a persistent, pesky telemarketer using one of their lame scripts on you, you can use this anti-telemarketer script to get them back at their own game. :)

Here goes:

1. “Are you calling to sell something?” (or is this a telemarketing call?”)

2. “Could you tell me your full name please?” (note: ask the person to spell it out alphabet by alphabet, and make sure they are enunciated clearly – do this for all other steps for optimal intimidation impact)

3. “And a phone number, residential/office adress?”

4. “What’s the name of the organisation you’re calling for?”

5. “Does that organization keep a list of numbers it’s been asked not to call?”

6. “I would like my number(s) put on that list. Can you take care of that now?”

7. “And does the company you work for also make telemarketing calls for any other organisations?” (If they answer no, skip the next question.)

8. (If yes) “Can you make sure your company won’t call me for any other organisation?”

You may need to ask to speak with a supervisor if they sound lost. When you’re ready to let them off, you might close with “Is it clear that I never want telemarketing calls from anyone?” and just say goodbye. If you feel like making them pay, keep going:

1. “Will your company keep my number on its do-not-call list for at least ten years?”

2. “And does your company have a written policy that says that on paper?”

3. “Can you send me a copy of it?”

4. “What’s your supervisor’s first and last name?”

5. “What’s your employer’s business name, address and main telephone number?”

6. “Are you calling for a tax-exempt nonprofit organization?”

7. “Is this call based on a previously established business relationship?”

Actually, better still if you have the guts for it, you can pull a recorded phone gag on them like the fonejacker dude I blogged about previously!

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8 responses

23 07 2008
Urban Rant

My tip for putting them off their stride goes like this.

Telemarketer: Can I speak to you for a few minutes?
Me: Eh…. I’d think better not.
Telemarketer: Why? We have this wonderful product…….(goes on for about a minute).
Me: I better not talk too much when I am in the toilet.
Telemarketer: Ok…Ok (click)

23 07 2008
alvinology

I got another idea: Ask them for their house/mobile number and tell them you will call back during dinner time. When they refused and tell you the numbers are private… tell them this: “Then what makes you think MY NUMBER IS NOT PRIVATE?”

26 07 2008
The Singapore Daily » Blog Archive » Weekly Roundup: Week 30

[...] literacy among the masses – Sam’s thoughts: The importance of being socially inept – ALVINOLOGY: How to get rid of Telemarketers – Majulah Singapura: Scifi fans in Singapore, rejoice! – ALVINOLOGY: Satay eating competition: Joey [...]

4 08 2008
rcuban2008

The other thing you can do is just use a site like TelemarketerCatcher.com — they have a user-generated list of telemarketer phone numbers. You can tell just from caller id information who is and isn’t a solicitor.

18 12 2008
the TM

Ok, im a telemarketer and this is stupid. i dont actually sell anything, i send out free information, and i’ve learned people get incredibly ignorant and stupid when they realize they are talking to a telemarketer. I really beleive the “bad guys” are people like you who want to make others “pay” for doing their job, if they didnt call you someone else would be. Just listen to what they have to say and say no thank you for gods sakes.

18 12 2008
alvinology

The thing is, most telemarketer will not take NO for an answer.

2 02 2009
i hate telemarketers

Your method makes phone bill go higher. Best is to use caller-ID plus voice mail if its mobile phone. Telemarketers NEVER leave a message.

23 03 2009
CrazyReply

Alvin & friends.

Why so wicked and cruel. You must be doing well in life to intimidate telemarketers. Do be kind oonce a while. If you don’t like their products:_ Say ‘I am not interested’ before getting nasty. Can or not?Sai Hei Man

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