I read a book titled Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops recently. The book is a collection of stupid and strange things people ask bookshop owners and staff.
The level of stupidity is incredulous. Here is a classic from the book:
“CUSTOMER: Hi, I just wanted to ask: did Anne Frank ever write a sequel?
CUSTOMER: I really enjoyed her first book.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary?
CUSTOMER: Yes, the diary.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary wasn’t fictional.
BOOKSELLER: Yes… She really dies at the end – that’s why the diary finishes. She was taken to a concentration camp.
CUSTOMER: Oh… that’s terrible.
BOOKSELLER: Yes, it was awful –
CUSTOMER: I mean, it’s such a shame, you know? She was such a good writer.”
Upon finishing the book, it dawned on me that stupid people email me all the time with all sorts of nonsensical queries after reading my blog.
They think that I am a know-it-all or the beaming light who is the solution of all their woes.
In the past, I will just ignore these emails or drop them a polite thank you reply if I am in a good mood.
Today, I am inspired to start a new content category on my blog – “Stupid Things People Ask”. This will feature all the stupid emails I receive which I feel are dumb enough that they deserve to be broadcast to a wider audience for nomination to the Darwin Award.
Here’s the first one to start off the series.
From Dxxxx@gmail.com to me:
Email title: jb day trip
Hi I wish to know your rates for minibus hire from Singapore to JB.
We want to go to these places :
1. visit showflats in setia cascadia
2. goto Desaru beach
3. goto Johor Premium Outlet
We have 4 adults and 2 young kids. We plan to go on Saturday or Sunday morning and return within the day.
Please let me know your charges.
Me to Dxxx@gmail.com:
S$50,000 per pax per day.
Let me know if you are still interested?
Dxxx@gmail.com to Me:
50,000 ??????? what you talking ?
Me to Dxxx@gmail.com:
I write a blog and do not operate a tour agency.
In order to take up your assignment, I need to purchase a mini van and start an agency.
$50k per pax is quite cheap if you are familiar with the COE prices in Singapore.
Let me know if you are still keen. I can then proceed to purchase the van.
Whether you are a bookshop owner, McDonald’s restaurant manager or in any occupation whereby you have to deal with stupid people asking stupid things, you are welcome to share your stories for broadcast on this blog. Send your story to firstname.lastname@example.org